Notes to Self, #1
Written from the idyllic shores of Lake Michigan
It’s the trying that counts the most. There can be a million and one failed attempts (at anything), but getting up and trying again, or trying something new, matters the most. Way more than any failures.
I think I may be addicted to sadness because that’s where I’ve lived most of my life.
No matter how freezing the water is, it’s always a good ideas to say hi to Lake Michigan.
A reminder from my old work therapist/work psychologist/whatever the heck her actual title was at the nightmare company: slow is smooth, smooth is fast.1 Be patient with yourself.
It’s a good idea to eat at the beach. It’s an even better idea to not spend money on food at the beach. Unless the beach has lobster rolls, then you should always buy a lobster roll.
Your body loves you. Why don’t you love your body, too?
You need more sleep than you think. Work on getting more sleep every night.
You also need more sunshine than you think (with SPF, of course). Work on getting more sun every day.
These last two items seem to counter each other. They do not. Go to bed earlier, it’ll change your life. (Truly, it’s not going to kill you to go to bed earlier than 3 am.)
Stop spending money on crystals. You can find all the magic you need from rocks at the beach.
It is good to play, to be silly, to have fun, to step away from screens. Stop feeling ashamed of spending time taking care of yourself.
The whole thing about life is that it ends, one way or another. Stop being afraid of change. Don’t get hung up on past lives that no longer fit into your present.
You only have so much energy in one day. Stop wasting it on masking your true self around workplaces and “friendships” that don’t value you or like who you really are.
Just because you can’t party like you did in college doesn’t mean you can’t party at all. Find your people, and you’ll find your party.
What is meant for your will come to you at the exact right moment.
It’s ok to outgrow people, places, things. Not everyone is meant to know you in all parts of life.
Good days go by too quickly. So do bad days. Remember to savor it all.
A few random tidbits:
Until recently, I forgot Medium existed? I’ve got some pieces up there that you can read. I’ve also decided to sunset my old food Tumblr, aka ye olde TheFabFoodGirl. I’ll repost relevant pieces on Medium. I’m just so burned out on managing multiple platforms.
I turned 34 three weeks ago, and I cannot be more relieved to be out of my Christ year. I am also very, very relieved to be long past…whatever hellish mental tricks my brain played on me this winter. I’ll write about it when the time is right, but that time is not now. If you’re turning 33, be warned- it’s not a fun year. Anyone who says otherwise didn’t learn their lessons.
I’m still querying agents, albeit slowly. I don’t have the mental capacity to juggle researching and querying agents and working on my comedy while also managing family issues, a major upcoming move, and significant financial stress. But one thing at a time. If you are in any position to help, be it with my lack of health care, inability to pay bills, or making introductions to folks in the biz, let me know. (And thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have made intros and reached out and have been phenomenal friends and colleagues! I see you and send you endless good vibes of gratitude and love.)
I regret to inform you that practicing yoga or doing somatic therapy stretchies on a daily basis actually does improve your health, in the sense that it’s very much lessened my anxiety attacks and helped (helping?) strengthen my core. Not to mention releasing some demons I didn’t know were still in my body. Woof.
If I’m quiet for a while, it’s because I’m dealing with family stuff. An old and overused line, I know. But what else is there to say when your parents are getting older and dealing with more health issues and you’re the only one who is going to be there to take care of them?
One last thing: this is a trying year. I can’t believe we still have to say, type, scream, march, post for a ceasefire now. I also cannot believe the political shenanigans that are shaking out this year, and the financial turmoil, and all of it. This is to say, it feels very similar to 2016 and 2020. If you’re pushing yourself to do the most to make a difference, I want to you take a moment and ask yourself: have I put this much care and effort and attention into my own life and health lately? This is not to detract from the work that needs to be done; rather, this is to remind all of you that this is just one battle in the midst of a very long, very hard war we are in. Take care of yourself first. You can help others all you want, but no one is going to help you if you pour all of yourself into the world. That’s exactly what the bad guys want you to do, because they’re not going to give you unlimited PTO to rest and recover, and they’re not going to bail you out of your financial crisis. This is a marathon, not a sprint. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. (And try not to judge other people when they’re taking care of themselves- you have no idea what other battles they’re fighting in addition to the ones you’re all fighting together.)
Stay safe and stay sane this summer, friends. See you at the lake.
My name is Lily Miller, and I’m trying my best. Like what you’ve read? Click below to subscribe.
Dr. Erica, if you ever read this- you are the best! I hope you’re doing well.